umm.. before going to the main post, it's kind of awkward on how I greet you today; not because that I ignore you for new bias(es) but because that I love and miss you and now there's nothing to say when I have to say something in your birthday.

Lee Taemin, you've been being my major bias since 2009.
I mean it. Wherever I go, whenever I do something and think of something, you're there. Being a part of my life.

........Honestly, it sounds like horribly rag and fucking terrible but yeah that's a fact.

even when I say I'd like to go away from fandom life and leave it for school life until next year, you're not leaving. Because you're already my real life. Since when, I don't even notice it.


that's weird that you don't even (probably) know me, and I'm indeed not an official fan of your group. That's weird, on how I confess my love for you when after all you won't notice and realize that behind another love letters from another fans. It's terrible on how I try hard to keep seeing at you with the pictures and videos and your move, your breathe and your habit, choosing to know you more than I know myself.

that's totally terrible, I know. But that's a fact.


and today, is probably the 4th day I say birthday greeting for you. I didn't post four of them here but I actually said it. from your 15th birthday until now.

and you remember that I cried last year because I couldn't accept that you were seventeen?
IT'S ALREADY BEEN A YEAR. And you want to know how I react when I know today is your 18th birthday?


I'm a loyal fangirl of yours. Loyal unofficial shawol, loyal unknown taemint, loyal 2min stan, loyal from-pure-to-bitchy-girl-like-now for you. it's been 4 years and I keep doing this like nothing to do in my world when actually I have.

happy birthday, my never-ending-fandom-major-bias, Lee Taemin.
if you were student at the school as same as mine, I'd have given you a box of chocolate and confessed my love for you today, in your 18th birthday.

because however, my love for you isn't normal.
it's beyond normal. And I don't know how to go back to normal because you're there.


if you were student at the school as same as mine, I'd have cried in front of you from confessing love shamelessly.


best wishes for you. not to mention one by one, because there're just too much to say. when you say between you and your fans there's inside connection from your heart, you'll hear them by yourself. fraction and fraction I give and pray for you.

I hope I could meet you someday, and I can confess my love for you and you hear the confession by yourself.


Keep humble and stay healthy. SHINee for life, keep shining. If there's no light to see, shawol has so many lights to use.


sincerely, your horrible big fan, Taree.